He let's me be a foolish child

it has hit the fan.
and I react as a dumbass would.
But He let's me act as a child.
For as He stands there,
letting me become depressed,
full of anxiety,
He let's me fit.
because its not like I'm asking for His help anyway.
cause that's what we (christians) do.
we want to be angry at God and not let Him work His mercy.
so He steps back, waiting til we realize, there is nothing wrong.
and when we realize nothings wrong,
that everything will be ok,
we laugh.
mostly at ourselves,
mostly out of joy
because He's laughing at us, as a father seeing His child throw a tantrum over a toy,
saying foolish child,
I was never away from you,
I was always with you,
I had everything planned,
throw your fit, be done with it,
and come back to me.
father I'm sorry for doubting you.
for not trusting you.
for letting the fear take me.
its showing me, putting my trust in you, isn't just words to say to sound nice during worship.
but its a physical placement of putting my life in your hands. something that we (christians) complicate, more so pervert.
because Gods plan for our life doesn't include fear and doubt, because fear and doubt isn't in Gods identity.
foolish as I am, thank you for letting me react humanly.
so I can find you again.

its freaking freezing

so my first winter here in maryland.
what do i have to say about it?
its freaking freezing!
i remember one day the guy on the radio said, "a high of 38"
and im like you suck
a high of 38
a high of 38!
what the heck!!
this southern gent was not ready for a high of 38
i mean i love it
i love winter
i love it to death
but it happened so quickly
i didnt have a chance to get ready for it
it just was there
my first winter in maryland also included the worst blizzard in ten years
feets of snow developed that one saturday
it didnt stop
my car, the poor thing was ingulfed in snow for days
piled up and over
oh the joy of this first winter
the beauty of it
the white fields
the way you can see the wind
winter is a beautiful season
one morning there were some snowflakes on my car
i actually saw the design of each snowflake on my car
and i remembered how scientist say that no snowflake is alike
there all different in some way, shape, or form
and i was a bit amazed by that
because i believe God the creator of all things, created each and every single snowflake different
a beautiful design of mathematic symmetry in each and every tiny flake of snow
i sat in my car thinking how God designed each and every single snowflake with careful art, so vastly different and as i looked outside i saw at least a million pounds of snow abroad the neighborhood, and sat amazed and awed by a God who did that
i love reading genesis one, really reading it, studying it, digging into it
reading the scientific structure of how God created the universe
how when He just spoke, things enveloped
c.s. lewis writes it in the magicians nephew, how aslan walks about the unknown, uncreated narnia, and he breaths his mighty breath, and all the plants, and waters, and animals, developed from his mighty roar
he presents the most beautiful way to describe the creation
when God breathed his mighty roar and on those six days when the world took its form, he breathed the scientific elements of creation as well.
the structure of which its to evolve
of how its to survive
the science of God is such a beautiful thing
God didn't present a random act of evolution with creation, He was particular
He was precise
detailed
graphic
He knew what species(of plant/animal) would survive where, and How it could survive
christians and science is not something that is easily welcomed hand in hand
one or the other is trying to disprove the other
but why cant science appreciate the beauty of a creator?
and why cant christians appreciate the structure of science?
why must there be a battle between the two?
why cant they just peacefully live aside of each other?
God, this great wonder of love and compassion, makes this world for His glory to dwell,
so He sets up this wonderful landscape for us to appreciate and rule over,
i sat there in my car, appreciating the beauty of my first winter, hearing the wind dance
and i was at awe
that night when i came home, and i looked at the sky, and saw the stars
the blackened sky millions of lightyears away
those balls of gas which illuminates its darkened stage
knowing Gods in those stars
screaming His glory over us
each step i took, hearing the crunch of the snow
seeing it melt away
the signature of God, and His love for us
you can't disprove the love of God, because its everywhere
you don't have to accept it, but you cant disprove it
His love so unending as the galaxy, so untamed as the sea

thank you ghandi

first update in a good bit
haven't been on a computer in a while
i should really learn how to blog via my phone
cause thats where im getting all of my internet action from
thank you technology
so whats the haps with me lately?
well
since ive been trying to get settled in maryland
i got a job, at radioshack, or as we like to refer to it as "the shack"
its cool
i guess
no, its cool
its a job i would never see me doing, and thank God that im doing
because this could be an awesome deal
just selling phones like a nasty, thats pretty much how i make my money
so if you live in the washington county area in maryland, and you need a new phone, or a phone upgrade
the radioshack in the valley road mall, ask for seth
theres one thing though which is a struggle for me
one thing that im consistently trying to achieve
and that is the keeping of my testimony
i am a very devout christian, who loves God, who seeks after the things of the supernatural
and i want people to see that and understand that in me, without thinking of me of the over christian-christian
i want to be a fun guy, which i am, i want to hangout and laugh, but i dont want to compromise

because really christians aren't like Jesus
Jesus is this amazing person, who loves the world, He died for our sins, knew the ins and outs of scripture, argued with the pharrisees, and He spent time with the sinners
i want to heal the broken hearted, and then have a drink with them seeing how there life is, to be there with them
not to spiritual father them, but be there brother
thats the difference between the character of the pharrasses and the character of Jesus
you have the pharrasses who are so over spiritual they think that any influence of the world would destroy there perfect spiritual mindset and there perfect spritual traditions
but then Jesus
whose just awesome
the son of God
who has the full empowerment of the Holy Ghost
dines with theives and sinners
showing them the love of His father
thats the difference between the over spiritual and the awesome
an uncompromise love that reflects His father

i want to show my co-workers an uncompromise love that reflects my heavenly father
salt is a preserve
it keeps things fresh and good
i want to be a fresh-good vessel of the love of God
i will laugh, i will joke but i will be the light for them
by simply being the love of God
i will reach a place in there spirit that no preacher will obtain
thats why the power of love is so awesome

so we agree
being the love of God, is alot easier then showing it

"i like your christ, your christians i do not like, your christians are not like your christ."-ghandi
hearing the immortal words of this revolutionary, i will try and prove him wrong, because we can be like Christ, and then some. so. thank you ghandi for saying that, i think its something we need to hear. a harsh reality really is the only one there is. so, thank you.

just a quick ramble between friends

why cant Christians be angry?
this is a question which im asking because, they wont let us be angry
"turn the other cheek they say, walk in love they say, Jesus died for them they say..."
well i say why cant i get pissed off?
not getting angry for angrys sake, but if it has a legit reason
righteous anger should be the anger im looking for
i know this guy, he totally turned his back on God, became gay, agnostic, the whole deal
now everyone is telling me
we just have to show him love
that's what Jesus would do
do you know what i want to do
i want to yell at him
right up in his grill
have some of my spit accidentally splatter on his face
i want to tell him in my outdoor voice
why are you being so stupid?
by golly you know once i say that, its all done
ill be the towns rebuke
also
i want to go up to the kid who loves God with all his heart
loves his family
great job in school
model christian
has a porn addiction
i want to go in this kids room
destroy his computer
have one of those force interventions
be like dude
why are you being so stupid
i want to go to this woman
this alcoholic of a woman
whose kids are left to defend for themselves
as she comes home from work and drinks her joys in
these kids who walk to church every week
i want to pick them up
drop them off at there house
and walk right into this woman's face
and be like
why are you being so stupid?
i want to yell the hell right out of her
why cant i do this just yet?
is it because im to sensitive of a guy i cant just get angry and spit out the turn or burn rhyme?
after sitting and pondering and wondering why
a dark reality drew upon me
how can i help these sinners with there sins
when i cant keep myself pure and holy
now sin is sin no matter how you read it
what you declare just is sick to God
so how can i address these people and help them through there ordeals when i just controlled and tamed my demons
some hypocrite am i
which in my opinion is the worst sin
a person wearing a mask of holiness and righteousness but inside are the scars of there perversions and lies
why is it so hard to be set apart?
romans 6:12-13.Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.
how can i present myself to God at this state?
how can i become consecrated?
consecrated-latin consecrātus-to make or declare sacred; set apart or dedicate to the service of a deity
Seth:but seriously, how can one person become holy?
and if you tell me its just by reading the word and praying i will get angry
God:read my word, and pray to me, ask My spirit to come and fill you
Seth:*sighs*
can it really be that easy?
yes
is it really that easy?
no
if it was that easy then, then yeah
thats how i felt when i first got that answer
i felt angry
cause i felt the time i gave God wasn't good enough
those moments in the word, praying to Him wasn't good enough
then i really thought about it
and it was like, i ONLY gave him a few moments a week, and it really wasn't good enough
my all wasn't good enough because i wasn't giving it
He gave me, what i gave Him
and thats why i cant yell at some pastor whose having an affair because my demons had more of say over my life then God did
when God isn't in full control of your life then you are, and when God isn't in control that means the devil is
and its a harsh pill to swallow but i made these decisions
now dont get me wrong, im not a perverted, alcoholic, cheat
im just not where im supposed to be
2 corinthians 3:18.But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.
i am to look like Christ
to be like Him
is it easy as read and pray?
yes
but its also about death and life
i am to consume my whole being into the atmosphere of God
duh!

the ravens and the ninja.

so i live in maryland now.
finally.
this day has been talked of for so long.
but finally its here.
its kinda wierd.
i dont live in florida anymore.
i miss florida.
i mean.
parts of it.
not the weather.
i wasn't a huge fan of the beach so i dont miss that.
the people.
i miss the people in florida.
the whole atmosphere.
the florida vibe.
ill bring the florida vibe to maryland.
ill infect this northen state with the culture of florida.
so let me tell you about the journey from bradenton florida.
to chattanooga tennessee.
to hagerstown maryland.
6am.
she woke me up at 6am.
do you remember when i said i had that florida vibe.
well in that.
6am wasn't a huge part of it.
we packed the car like there was no tomorrow.
full to the rim.
after my parents prayed for us.
blessed us.
and kissed us goodbye.
we went forth ahead to this destiny.
but it was still 6am.
actually by this time it was closer to 7am.
i just wanted to beat atlanta traffic.
cause if you dont know anything about atlanta traffic then you dont know traffic.
9 hours.
9 hours is what it took me and staci and the z-fighter.
the z-fighter is the name of the beast of a vehicle i call my own.
9 hours.
9 hours is what it took me and staci and the z-fighter to reach my grandparents home in chattanooga tennessee.
a beautiful place.
she fell in love with it automatically.
which is good for me.
cause i love the chatt.
the chatt is my nickname for chattanooga.
i just made it up right now as im writing this.
it'll catch on.
so we spend some time with my grandparents.
talking.
laughing.
and fellowshipping.
a good time.
its been a few years since ive seen them last and the last time ive seen them last was when my dad was in the hospital.
so to see them without any medical attention was a good thing in my opinion.
spent the night there because i needed to rest my weary bones.
by the way did i mention the only thing we were listening to for the entire ride was country.
and being more specific taylor swift.
not my choice but i am secure enough to say that i enjoy taylor swift.
so what.
shes good.
morning drew upon us.
and we began another journey.
another 9 hours to maryland.
after being prayed for by my grandparents.
being blessed by them.
hugging and kissing them.
we went on for this last leg of my move.
another 9 hours.
just driving thats all.
nothing special.
we didnt pull over to the side of the road every cool touristy thing we saw.
we drove it straight through.
got in towards the 9 or 10 o'clock hour.
and we just crashed.
my driving was over with.
my car made it.
and that was the suprise of all.
that the z-fighter made it.
a car with over 180,000 miles made another cross country trip.
maybe not cross country but up country.
its wierd.
more so scary.
i mean.
i moved away from my friends and family.
i never thought i would do that.
i know it was going to happen.
that it was supposed to happen.
no one can be in a long distance relationship forever.
so it was bound to happen.
i just cant believe it finally happen.
to me.
so i finally got a job.
when i start working there is another story.
its taking a couple days to long for the final paperwork/background check to get done.
but i have a job.
thank God cause the money i came up here with is saying goodbye quickly.
and bills are about to say hello.
that right there was a stretching point.
the im about to experience a new level of my faith point.
no income.
no reserve.
starting to totally freak out.
becoming anxious.
then i realized.
i didnt lay down all my fears to God.
and i allowed the enemy to plant seeds in my spirit saying that this was a bad idea.
but.
He feeds even the ravens.
Luke 12.24.Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds?
im much more value than the birds.
and once i realized what im doing by moving to maryland is a holy venture.
that God has anointed both staci and i for this.
and once i realized that i have Jehova Jirah.
i didnt care.
i said Lord you are worth it.
You have every part of this plan written down.
and you know when everything is going to happen next.
so i have no fear anymore.
i have no anxiety anymore.
i worship you in this struggle.
i thank you for the stretching.
and i say that you are my God.
what i realized is that God will not leave you all alone to figuire life out for ourselves.
Hes there with you as you figuire life all alone for yourself.
with His still calming voice whispering down your spirit.
Hes like a ninja.
Hes there but we dont see Him.
and thats why He is so amazing.
a God i can call all my own.
that we may feel all alone yet we rest in His arms and we dont know it.
James 1.2-4.Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
through this ive come to realize that stretching of ones self is a very uncomfortable place to be set in.
and thats exactly how God intended it.
He doesnt want it to be easy peasy.
because what do we learn from it.
i was raised hearing the phrase "no pain, no gain" scattered upon tshirts and stickers.
never understanding that phrase until recently.
until recently have i felt pain, and until recently am i into the process of gain.
im gaining more mature in the Lord.
my spirit man is advancing with this new journey.
and it is good.
so the phrase "no pain, no gain" takes on a whole new reality for me.
a new world.
an alternate universe.
where a boy becomes a man.
and ventures into something he has no clue about.
theres no book i can read that can help me.
no map to follow.
cause thats cheating.
and what do you gain from it.
so yeah.
qouting jim carrey in bruce almighty.
"its good".
its good.
or it will be good.

FEAR. the beginning and end.

question.
is it ok to admit fear?
is it ok to be afraid?
to say, crap, im scared.
2 timothy 1:7.for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
but is it ok as christians to admit some form of fear.
because im not going to be super-spiritual and say im not afraid of anything
because im freaked out
soon im moving from the wonderful state of florida, to to the beautiful state of maryland
i will leave my friends and family and impart on a journey into the phase of manhood
and let me tell you
im freaking out about it
and like i said, im not going to be super-spiritual and say im not afraid, cause like i said; i am.
im walking out of the comforts of home and into the land of responsibility, the mountains of paying your bills on time, the valleys of landlords and neighbors, the skies of opportunities and failures.
ive spoiled myself with my parents hospitality
im not prepared for this
sits back, sighs, rubs his head, puts hands on head, prays, "God help me"
this adulthood, oh the woes of it all
why cant life be a little bit easier?
a friend of mine said, "The condition for a miracle is difficulty... the condition for a great miracle is impossibility!"
how true it is
my fear is the unknown
not knowing what is to come, to have a huge amount of change just appear before you
what scares me is not having a handle on the situation
i play it off easy at times
i might look like a lax gentlemen, but i like to have somewhat structure
i do live in where ever the wind blows moment, but i feel comfortable with a plan
.....the condition for a miracle is difficulty
why did he say that?
im in need of a miracle here, so why does the condition for this miracle have to be a difficult pill to swallow?
......the condition for a great miracle is impossibility.
hes such a jerk im serious
but this is what life is
or what its supposed to be, no smooth plains, but bumpy roads
life is an uncomfortable couch to sit on, with a piece of metal piercing out of the cotton exterior, jabbing into your backside, your annoyed but you cant do anything about it because you have two people sitting at your right and your left, so your stuck there
with that still, peaceful, calm voice directing your steps, you find a cushion spike free, one person gets up, you adjust, freedom, comfort, thank you Jesus
you walk into some incredible moment wrapped in a bow given to you by God
the future is a gift given to us by God, thats why we call it the present
im sorry, that was beyond cheesy
i think christians over spiritualize alot of things
for instance, i think its ok to admit fear, rational or irrational
we can have fear, but we shouldnt be consumed by it
its ok to be afraid
mary was afraid when the angel appeared to her
and what did the messanger say?
fear not
there it is
God gets the glory
because in that fear, is where we seek God the most
because everything we do comes back to God getting the glory
i have to be afraid of this change coming
so that when i see that theres nothing to fret about, i can say, Lord you are amazing
we can let the fear alter our state of being, or adjust our eyes and praise the God who watches our every step
psalm 23:2.He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.
that verse is referring to someone who is in full submission to God
so if Hes making me lie down in green pastures, and leading me beside still waters, all referencing places of comfort, why should we/i be afraid than?
its ok to be afraid of the unknown, but when your holding the hand of the creator of the unknown, its gonna be ok
dont worry
breath
check your pulse
your fine

awake, you who sleep, arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light

so my fast is over.
it was good.
real good.
like i had no desire nor did i miss the tv/internet
it was awesome

the whole purpose for the fast was to envelop a revolution of Gods word in my life
it was to birth a desire to pray and seek the throne room
to much do we make excuses for not training ourselves in a lifestyle that is modeled after Christ
sadly, i was the worst offender

i know that i am (trying to say this humbly) a spiritual person
ive been mentored by some amazing men and women of God
but there are somethings teachers cant teach
somethings which i have to mold myself into
an endtime warrior, a zealot towards the causes of justice, but most important, broken.

perfumed with His presence, and filled with His fire

God is the sculptor and we are the clay
but times are called when i have to use my own hands and mold myself into the image of Jesus
this is the form of spiritual adulthood
to drink the milk, but to eat the meat aswell
this is the thing they dont teach in sunday school
pass the stories of noah, and moses
it goes deeper
the rabbit hole takes you into another world as alice found out
thats why i admire muslim children
because there not taught history lessons of there faith
there taught to die for it
im not blaming my sunday school teachers
im blaming americana christianity
the bastard thats taken an income off of Jesus
the whore of 501(c)(3) non-profit organizations

cultivation
repetitiveness
habit
this week was time developing a habit
its horrible thing to do
to make a habit of spiritual training
this should of been done long ago
but laziness is a devil

proverbs 19:15.laziness casts one into deep sleep, and an idle person will suffer hunger
hungry and asleep
or you can say
apathetic and tolerate
i let my surroundings surround me
to the point of just looking the other way
apathetic and tolerate
you can say
pathetic and hypocritical
i made a mockery of the cross
of what it means
of what it is
and of what He did

this week was a week of regeneration
to let the lion the roar inside of me
to tremble in fear
and to be prepared for war

in the movie prince caspian
when aslan roared
nature woke up
after hundreds of years of slumber
they awoke
when the telemarianes invaded narnia they battled with the narnians
and they drove them into isolation and hiding
and the once alive creation muted themselves
the trees no longered danced
the animals no longered were sought as friends
once aslan returned
and he let out his mighty roar
the trees became alive and the waters awoke

that was my intentions of this week
my church had its annual summer camp and it was an intense time in the presence of God
words were spoken that pierced my spirit
worship was played that took me into realms
and i had no distractions that could of caused me to look otherwise
if i didnt worked i was in my room
seeking God through his spoken word

the seed was planted
the water was poured
the season went
and what became of it is transformation
2 corinthians3.18. and we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
His likeness is our desire
His ever-increasing glory is how we get there
and i want to be there

revelations 22.17.the Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life.